Gear Up Soon!
The official merchandise store is launching soon. Check out a preview of the collection below!
Want to be notified when the shop goes live?
PreviewOwnership Certificate
Certify that you are the owner of this land. 'Behold! The (mostly) Official Greenland Ownership Certification! While we can't legally guarantee you'll be able to build an ice castle and declare yourself King/Queen/Monarch of Greenland, this handsome certificate does certify your unwavering belief in your ownership. Frame it. Show it off. Use it to impress your friends (results may vary). This is the closest you'll get to owning a massive chunk of the Arctic without facing frostbite and polar bear lawyers. Consider it a spiritual deed, a testament to your ambition, and a fantastic conversation starter. Disclaimer: Does not grant actual land rights, mineral rights, or the right to rename glaciers. But it does grant bragging rights.
PreviewConqueror Sticker Kit
Tired of the mundane? Yearning for territorial expansion? The Greenland Conqueror Kit is your answer! This meticulously curated collection of premium stickers allows you to subtly (or not-so-subtly) claim dominion over everything you touch. Your coffee mug? Greenland. Your laptop? Greenland. Your neighbor's suspiciously well-maintained garden gnome? Definitely Greenland. Warning: May cause intense feelings of ownership and a sudden urge to learn Greenlandic. Does not actually grant control over anything except sticker placement. A piece of greenland, a time to conquer!
PreviewT-Shirt (Probably Owner)
Subtly announce your (aspirational) real estate portfolio with this stylish tee! Features the bold statement: 'Greenland Property Owner - Probably.' It's the perfect way to confuse and intrigue everyone you meet. Are you actually a land baron of the frozen north? They'll never know for sure. Made from 100% cotton (because even pretend Greenland owners deserve comfort). Available in sizes S-XXXL (because Greenland is for everyone...).
PreviewMAGGA Cap
Make a statement! (A slightly ironic, very tongue-in-cheek statement, that is.) This classic cap, emblazoned with the powerful acronym 'MAGGA' (MAke Greenland Great Again), is guaranteed to turn heads. Whether you're a genuine Greenland enthusiast, a lover of political satire, or just someone who enjoys confusing strangers, this cap is for you. One size fits most (because Greenland's greatness should be accessible to all head sizes). Disclaimer: Does not actually influence Greenlandic politics, but it absolutely makes you feel more powerful.
PreviewArctic Holdings Keychain
Carry a little piece of Greenland with you wherever you go! This sturdy keychain is a constant reminder of your holdings in the Arctic. It's also great for holding keys. A perfect gift for the aspiring Greenland tycoon. Warning: May cause spontaneous daydreams of icebergs and polar bears."
PreviewThe *Actual* Greenland Trip
Prepare yourself. For unlike everything else on this website... this is REAL. We're actually offering a trip to GREENLAND! Yes, that Greenland. The one with icebergs, breathtaking fjords, and possibly (probably) some polar bears (from a safe distance, of course). We've partnered with a real-life, experienced Greenlandic tour operator to craft an unforgettable adventure. This isn't some virtual reality headset experience; this is the genuine article. You'll actually breathe the crisp Arctic air, actually witness the Northern Lights (season permitting), and actually be able to say you've been to Greenland (and not just in your dreams). Exclusive to Greenland's most discerning property owners.